Senior Hoarders

Seniors are hoarders at much higher rates than other adults. We can only guess why this might be so. Some seniors experienced some of the great depression as children, and can vividly remember not having any possessions at all. They can’t seem to bring themselves to throw things away, even this many decades later. For others, the loss of a spouse triggers it. Suddenly, everything in the house is meaningful, because it reminds them of their loved one. Yes, even paper cups, small cardboard boxes, and credit card applications. In the case of our family, both of these factors were partially responsible, but there are many other triggers.

What can a Family Do?

Our situation got so bad that the grown kids wouldn’t bring their little one’s over to grandma’s anymore. It was unsafe and unhealthy to stay in that environment. So we had an intervention with our loved one. A couple of them, actually. The results? Mixed at best. She understood the problem and said she planned to “get to” the clutter. We are still hoping that happens soon.

Some baffled families often turn to professional help, but even the medical community can’t offer much help a lot of the time. Psychologists have a difficult time dealing with this disorder. For whatever reason, some seniors seem to have no ability to pull themselves away from it.

So what can a family do? Definitely start with an intervention. You might have far better success than we did. Just be sure to do it with lots of respect. You can gently and gracefully tell your loved ones how their behavior is affecting the rest of the family, and urge them to let you help

Whether that works or not, I recommend you check out this website: Children of Hoarders. They have some great ideas on how to address the subject.

1) Assess Your Needs & Document Them

Whatever it is, record it. Some caregivers are going to want to take care of some activities, but not others. And sometimes a senior caregiver who is not necessarily a nurse will be able to take care of some of those things, and that would certainly help your budget.

The point is, the senior and the caregiver need to have the same expectations. The key to getting expectations aligned is good communication. So before you conduct a search, put out an ad for help, conduct an interview, etc, figure out what your own expectations are. This will take care of a ton of problems on the outset.

For more info on this subject, visit this elder care law site or Inside Elder Care. And stay tuned for more tips on hiring a caregiver. And if you need to find Oregon assisted living or senior housing anywhere in the United States, click on the banner below.

Here’s the story. In this case, the caregiver was a woman who pretended to cozy up to the wealthy man and start a romance. She was 58 years old. As he grew to trust her, he asked her to go buy a new car for him, which she could drive him around in. So he gave her the money. Thirty grand.

She bought the car, all right! She bought it, and put it in her name…

Thankfully, this time, the woman did not get away with it. She was arrested, tried and convicted for her fraud, and she even has to pay the money back in restitution. Justice has happened!

But the issue raises a larger issue in my mind: How do you choose a caregiver that you can trust? After all, this story took place in an Oregon assisted living home, but seniors who get home health care from an agency or an individual are far more vulnerable, even. When a person begins to get to know them, to understand how they operate, they could be very easy prey for a scam artist. It could happen through a false romance, but more likely, it could happen in far more subtle ways. A credit card disappearing. Old jewelry, lying around, is suddenly gone. Or it could happen in the most drastic ways of all: the caregiver winds up in the will of the senior, receiving lavish gifts. And the family can do nothing.

So stay tuned for our series, “Finding the right Caregiver.”

Of course, many seniors and others (me, for one) don’t really get off on country line dancing. But many seniors might find themselves pleasantly surprised at just how much fun it can be, and what a great exercise it is. Senior line dancing is becoming increasingly popular, particularly in senior centers around the United States. Why the popularity? For one thing, it is pretty easy to get down. You don’t have to take too many lessons, or build up too much strength to figure out how to get it going.

Secondly, line dancing involves a whole bunch of people. Unlike Ballroom dancing, you don’t have ro rely on one partner. In this way, there is less pressure than some other forms. All you do is go with the flow.

Am I now trumpeting the cause of line dancing after I already said I don’t enjoy it? Maybe. I don’t enjoy it. But I have to admit that when you have a lot of people, it can actually be kind of enjoyable. And if you need to get exercise, you can certainly do it with line dancing, and have a fun time in the process.

Check your local senior center to find out if there are line dancing events coming up in your town. And if you need to find a fancy way to care for elders in your family, click the banner above and trade some information. It’s easy!

The University of Minnesota is experimenting with this. Some of their med students have integrated themselves into a partner senior health care home. It is an interesting move, and it already seems to be paying off for them. The two fourth year medical students profess that they are getting to know their senior neighbors in a genuine way and it is shaping the way they see the elder generation. Ultimately, they believe this will help them as doctors. They will be able to sympathize with aging patients and not just say “go take your medicine.”

I think this is a pretty cool idea. After all, we have all had experiences with doctors not really sympathizing to the plight of our families (especially our kids…), so we know there can be a real “professional” separation in the medical community. Writing a prescription is a simple thing to do, and it requires no personal understanding. But only by getting to know the patient’s lifestyle can a doctor or nurse be sure he is really meeting their needs.

So, are we really talking about intergenerational senior care? Maybe it’s short of that. Maybe just a few future professionals doing live in research. But the doctor in charge of the movement thinks it could be a broad integration of senior housing in the future. I don’t know about that (some seniors LIKE living around other seniors…), but I think it’s great that we will have doctors that know how to sympathize with the seniors they treat.

Caregivers should know, first of all, whether they can claim their aging loved one as a dependent on their return. This would require that their loved one is unable to care for himself, and that he lives in their house and is under their 24 hour care. There are other stipulations obviously, but they are worth looking into for any caregiver. Why? Because the potential tax return could be worth it. Caregivers incur a lot of expenses that normal people do not. Oftentimes, many of those expenses can be claimed on their return. Caregivers really ought to look into this possibility.

Second, the article advises seniors who plan to file independently to seek out help from a tax aide volunteer. Many volunteers help out with the AARP Tax Aide program. This begins at the start of February, and it is free of charge, since most senior returns are relatively straight forward. More complex filers might have to hire out professional tax counselors instead.

Anyway, the over all point is this: taxes are not fun, but there is relief out there. Relief for the filer and for the family!

To find elder care services in your area, click the A Place For Mom banner to the right!

But what can you possibly do in the winter?

Here are just a few ideas:

Things to do with Grandma in a Wet Winter Climate:

• Grab an umbrella and take a walk at the park.
• Go visit a nature reserve.
• Take the kids along to the zoo. The animals don’t take days off when it’s wet!

Things to do with Grandma in a Cold Winter Climate:

• Get to a coffee shop, grab some hot tea, and then go take in a local show
• Go to the mall. It’s not snowing there!
• Go pick her up and bring her over to your house. Have her make cookies with the kids.
• Grab a DVD, pick up some lunch, and surprise her at the elderly care facility. That way, she doesn’t even have to put on a coat to have some special family time.

I know, I know… these are pretty basic ideas. But the fact that I came up with a half dozen in a few minutes shows just what a no-brainer this is. So what if the weather is bad! There are lots of things you can do to have a good time, and to help your loved one remember that she is not forgotten!

With that in mind, I want to mention a couple of features on cars that are helpful to senior drivers who are still physically able to drive safely. These come directly from AAA’s website.

Adjustable Petals – this can let shorter drivers reach the accelerator and brake, and allow senior drivers to be a safer distance from the air bag, especially if they drive in a more hunched over position.

Anti-Lock Brakes – This is getting to be a pretty standard feature which improves the safety of all drivers, but especially senior drivers who might have trouble “tapping” the break repeatedly to keep them from locking. This is especially an important feature for seniors living in colder, icier climates.

Brake Assiste – A newer feature that helps the driver by generating enough force to break in an emergency. Seniors sometimes have trouble pushing the break all the way down in an emergency situation. This will help.

Stability Control – This feature makes small adjustments to help a driver keep control of a car, particularly on roads that are slick.

The AAA website lists many more features, but most of them are convenience features to help seniors, such as power mirrors that can be easily adjusted. But I want to add one more way to care for elders behind the wheel, although it is not a feature.

DriveSharp Computer Software

There is a new computer software available that has been scientifically designed and proven to help senior drivers improve their awareness, reaction time, and safety while driving. It is a unique system that incorporates fun, game-like exercises that train the user’s eyes to keep track of multiple moving objects, etc. But the long and short of it is this: adults who use it report excellent improvements in their awareness and reaction time. You can read more about the system here.

This is not an easy answer. There is no simple fix. People want to be together on the holidays, and there is simply no substitute for a human touch. However, there are a couple of things you can do to help your aging loved one know that she is loved and remembered.

First, call her, and then call her again! Seriously. Give her a phone call the night before Christmas. Let the children tell her how much they love her. Take time to tell her you wish she could be with you. And then call her again the next morning to say how much the kids enjoyed opening their presents. Her present to them:)

Secondly, get her visuals as soon as possible. If she has video chat capabilities (we have talked a lot about that on this site!), then get her on Skype or Face Time and let her be a part of the festivities. Let her see your faces. If not, send her pictures right away. Chances are, she at least has email, right? Send her some photos of the kids, the food, the tree. Make her a part of the celebration even though she is away.

Finally, make her gift personal! Don’t just order something for her online and have it shipped to her elder care services home. That is all well and good, but just make sure you do something else as well. Something that has a person ring to it. Have the kids make her a gift. Send a personal card with personal photos. Put some real thought into it. Write her a note. Make her a calendar with faces of the kids. Just do something to let her know that you cared enough to take some time for her.

There is no way to completely fend off the feelings of sadness and loneliness over the holidays for grandma. But you can at least let her know that no matter where she is, you and the family still love her very much. For more ideas, check out Elderly Care Services.

The Kindle: A Great Gift for Seniors

I helped him download the Kindle App for his laptop, set up an Amazon account for him, and showed him how he could instantly load up on all the Zane Grey books he wanted. And for the first time in a while, he found himself absorbed into novels for days. What changed? Besides the easy access to the books he loved, there was this: he could increase the font size and adjust the brightness as much as he wanted to. For a sixty-one year old, this is a priceless perk.

After a couple of days, I was busy, so I let him read a Grey novel on my Kindle itself. The new Kindle’s have a button that will let you increase the font and contrast with one click. He, of course, popped the size up to giant print. It would drive me crazy to have to turn pages so often, but this was the perfect arrangement for him. The long and short of it is this: he read at least 3 novels in the week he was with us. He found a passion that he had forgotten about. Print size had prohibited him, but with the Kindle, it is no longer an issue.

Great for Seniors in Assisted Living

Senior book worms in an assisted living facility will undoubtedly love the Kindle for that reason, but for this as well: the Kindle can hold thousands of books, and Assisted Living apartments typically have very little space for things like bookshelves.

The books are cheap. The print is as big as they want it. And the storage space is non-existant. Yes, the Kindle might just be the perfect Christmas gift for seniors!

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